A Day in the Life...and Proposition 8

Today we were cooking dinner and watching "Dora the Explorer" with our 2 year old son. You see, our life is ordinary, and we love every minute. Yet it is an incredibly difficult time. People we know and thousands we don't are not only losing their jobs but are also worried about the increasing risk of their ability to keep their families whole.

This is the age of out of touch executives, wealthy bankers, and others literally stealing the money of people they know and don't know - while charitable organizations lose their ability to help others and real people we know and love worry about retiring. How in the world does our issue of the right to marry hold any relevance in this context. And how do we, just a single income family with a typical 2 year old, ever make a difference.

Well it all comes to a vortex with the reality that the very people who abused capitalism for personal gain also dominate the conservative mindset that is funding the defense of proposition 8. This is a California state constitutional amendment that defines marriage as between a man and a woman, thus discriminating against same sex couples. It is no accident that the attorney defending this is Kenneth Starr, who happens to also be defending Blackwater, the private company in Iraq that killed Iraqi civilians...can anyone remember Haliburton and, of course, Dick Cheney?

Back to the real world and day to day life here. So, those who want to maintain, and abuse their power over the masses are spending inordinate amounts of money to try and defend proposition 8. Why when the global society is in such crisis? Well perhaps fighting against an "invisible" enemy such as homosexuality and gay marriage can actually distract people from the true enemy of society - the very few people who have both money and power.

We know for sure just two things - we don't have lots of money and our only power is in being who we are, sharing our story and helping others who may not know us that we are you.

To all families from California, to Kansas to New York - we are struggling with the same things you are - how do we really get our 2 year old potty trained? Wow, the cartoons are very different now - Dora and her friends just cleaned up the entire ocean! We are filled with hope for the future and also very based in the reality of our times.

To all gay and lesbian people across the country - we are like you, too. We struggle to help everyone understand that we are no different than any other family. And for those of you who do not have supportive families or communities- this is for you. You see we do, and we have the love of many around us - family, co-workers and friends. The conservatives want you to feel like you are less than human and its just not true. The fact is in truly enlightened communities where people feel personally secure with themselves there is so much love, respect and equality. We are just people in a community. We can't tell you how many neighbors, friends and strangers have told us of their personal pain that anyone would not want us to have our rights. Just the other day we were walking with our dogs and child, when a neighbor we do not know stopped to tell us her story - How she as a straight, married woman with kids, is heartbroken that her best friend and female partner of 16 years were forced to move out of their Montana community because they are gay. Local citizens actually tried to burn their house down to make them leave town.

We have been overwhelmed with calls and e-mails from many friends wanting to know what they can do to help this injustice. We always say 1) if you can give money, then do; and 2) tell everyone you know our story and the story of other gay couples and families fighting for their rights.

So, on Monday March 2 the California senate and assembly will vote on a proposal to overturn proposition 8. And on Thursday March 5 the state supreme court will begin hearing the arguments for and against proposition 8. We plan to participate in a candle light vigil this week because it is all we can do. And encourage everyone to watch the video on our blog called the "Courage Campaign" video. Those who are bigoted do not own spirituality nor religion so we ask everyone who we reach through this blog to pray on Wednesday March 4 for the support of the rights of our family and prevent California from divorcing us against our will and keeping our son's family intact in these amazingly difficult times.

And as Gandhi once said, "Be the change you want to see in the world" and "An unjust law in its own right is a species of violence".

With deep love and respect,
Duffy & Lisa